Saturday, March 21, 2009

Long time

I actually have been knitting - this is my "Man's Vest" left front. The back is finished. As you can see this is going to take a lot of effort in the blocking - the edges roll! Hopefully it will all come together correctly....I need this vest!

My available clothing options are dwindling as the weather improves. So far winter has worked for me because I've always got a sweater on - great camouflage. But the sun is shinning more often (hurray-the winter was too long this year) and sweaters are too hot. I can't wear knit t-shirts - too many weird looking features still remain. I'm not comfortable enough yet to go prosthesis shopping - plus it's just too expensive right now. But my surgeon wants a 'redo' to clean things up - but once again I just can't afford to miss work and have more bills. This is the pits!! I am feeling better than a few weeks ago - but still hurt everyday and am physically aware that I'm not comfortable. Once again, I admit it - my expectations were too high.

I have noticed in the user forums on the Breast Cancer sites (Komen and BreastCancer.org) that not much is said about the physical aftermath of recovery. Naturally most of the discussions are centered on the cure and treatment. I think we are all so concentrated on getting through treatment (and very admittedly my treatment was nothing compared to many) we don't think about what comes next. I read a story the other night about a 40 something woman - a triathlete who had the same surgery as I did - 15 months later she is still having pain and discomfort. Oh my gosh - this women is at least 10 years younger than me and she was an athelete....I am not going to be in this place in 15 months -I WILL be done before then! I have always been labeled as a Polyanna - but this has really thrown me for a loop. It's interesting how many things you never thought of before and how much you depend on your well being for everything else in your life! I am going to be done with this someday soon!

College Girl is coming home next week for Spring Break - looking forward to having the girls both here. We will have at least one family gathering - Hopefully I can get The Geek to come too! Good food usually does the trick. Concequently today is grocery shopping - I dread this - REI Girl and I have have been very frugal these past few months - now the budget will get blown. Oh well - it's definitely worth it. The girls like to bake together so there will be lots of goodies around to look forward to.

I've sadly just finished a great book - My Sisters Keeper by Jodi Picoult. I've read a few others by this author - Vanishing Act and Nineteen Minutes. I love the way she writes and weaves her characters. There is always a paragraph or two that just stands out for me that seems to capture some memory that doesn't seem important until you see it written about. This time it was about a childs secret language of WhatIfs - What if that car stopped in the middle of the road, what if the sun stopped shinning and then the grocery store closed, what if my teacher is silly, what if you married someone else, what if I didn't have red hair - my kids always asked so many "what ifs" I'd forgotten how entertaining and sometimes insightful their questions were. Now the most asked question is "Mom can I have some help (meaning money of course)." Gotta love em!

Redmond Stitch and B*itch - I will be back - Monday nights have just been busy recently and I've been working on Sundays too. After Spring Break - I'll see ya then!

3 comments:

Pat K said...

They say you never miss anything until it's not there. The same, obviously, for good health. You Will get through this. Your knitting will keep you moving and, perhaps, has already done you good. You'll never know if you might have been in worse shape, physically and mentally, without it. The same goes for family support. You are blessed to have such supportive offspring! I will keep you in my prayers and thoughts.

Mette said...

Jodi Picoult is strange to to me but I have been also reading quite a lot these days. A couple of books by Paulo Coelho... I love those! You have a great attitude Julie! I´m sure you´ll be better soon!

Roxie said...

You might check Goodwill for some soft cotton men's dress shirts. Or even silk (You can handwash it just like wool socks) A shirt will not cling to the "irregularities."

You WILL get through this, and you will learn lots of suggestions and information to help others who have been down this road.