Thursday, January 26, 2006

Socks and Molly

Mountain Colors socks finished! Hurray! I love this yarn - it is great to knit with and comfortable to wear - I've got them on!

Yesterday was not a good day. My beautiful daughter Molly is bipolar and this is a very difficult time of the year. She has had two suicide attempts - last January and the previous Feburary. Just like clock work she has been in anxiety mode the last few weeks and yesterday was the most difficult. Luckily she called both me and her therapist and we spent the afternoon together coming up with a strategy to get her through the next few days until she gets her meds adjusted.

This is such a journey - she is such a beautiful young woman - so full of promise and so full of constant battles. She feels particularly isolated right now because her friends are all away at college and she is here at home. School and work although overwhelming to her at times, does keep her busy and occupied and distracted. But when she does get in this place she can't concentrate or stick to any task for very long - hence she has trouble keeping up with what she needs to do - it's a viscious cycle.

Every year I think it is getting better - but the risks also get bigger because she is more adept at fooling us into believing she is feeling fine. Crisis mode often takes us by surprise. Fortunately she does have a good therapist and hopefully will committ to getting long term help - instead of just when she is in this mode. We've been down this road enough now that I think she understands that therapy isn't just for when its bad - but also when she is feeling fine so she can learn to control the bad times.

While we were waiting for our appointment yesterday I went for a little therapy at the LYS - and got washable wool to replace the Happy Trails and got Molly some yarn to start a hat - that's our plan for the evening - she has knitted a scarf before - so a hat will be a good next project. Also instant gratification because it's bulky yarn - I'll post a picture when she's finished.

Thank you all for listening - it feels good just to write it down sometimes.

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